Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize