Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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