I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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