im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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