I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wanna go halves on a baby?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
