I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
