where does the pee come out of this thing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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