We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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