she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
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Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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