I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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