Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize