i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
