it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
