do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
