my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you made out with another girl for some wings
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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