so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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