This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She said her name was "party"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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