we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
