Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
