I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
its not stalking. its research.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
