Jerry, you need to find god
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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