Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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