If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize