So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
