I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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