I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
