i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
