Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
