If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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