I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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