you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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