Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Too much gin, very little bucket
i dont even know how to be here
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
