He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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