Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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