oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
there is glitter all over my balls
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize