Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
