Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
one might say we're banned from that church
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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