I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
