My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
