i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
