You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
