i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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