We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
