Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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