I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize