"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
