Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
