I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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