i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
did you just send me my own nude
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
