am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
