If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize