just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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