There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
