my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
