I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
