If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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