So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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