Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
