There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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