a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
